Another big hole

this night,
just now,
this big hole appears again

no, this is not about the love thingy or something like that
not about that at all

why,
why when I already trust myself that I'm able to reach something,
they come and break me

why..
it just...
it just.... sad

and here I am
still in my room
in the same corner every night

so do I hate this place?

no, not because I dont like this place

I love this place,

this place has taught me so many lessons

I'm just afraid I won't leave this place
yes, I'm too afraid I'll stuck here

stuck here forever,

it just,
there are still many other places I want to see
I want to feel
feel the air, the wind, the rhythm

feel every single seconds of it

where I'll take lesson from

I believe, with all of my heart,
I can do that
I'll achieve it

but, can't you just believe it?
can't you just let me?